Christmas column Should I fake joy at presents? Yes, please!

It's gift-giving time again! But with all the presents wrapped in glittery paper comes the threat of frustration: what if you don't like the present? If in doubt, the blue News columnist thinks you should still be happy.

While some people have already worked through their entire gift list by the end of November and are now relaxing and sipping mulled wine at the Christmas market, others are totally stressed out.

So many presents to buy, so little time! And what should you give anyway?

I may have already bought all my presents, but it was still stressful for me in November. There are two people in my circle who are incredibly difficult to give presents to.

About the person: Michelle de Oliveira

Bild: Privat

Michelle de Oliveira is a journalist, yogini, mother and always in search of balance - and not just on the yoga mat. She also has a soft spot for all things spiritual. In her column, she reports on her experiences with the incomprehensible, but also from her very real life with all its joys and challenges. She lives with her family in Portugal.

Both undoubtedly have very good taste and an extra dose of style, but also a very low tolerance level when it comes to what they like or don't like.

"Can I exchange this?"

Finding the right gift is like trying to get the flying Christ Child to come to Christmas dinner in person. Impossible.

Both people also have one quality that I really appreciate - outside of the Christmas season: They are honest and direct.

So they also say if they don't like the gift and have no qualms about asking directly after unwrapping it: "Can I exchange it?"

Keyword "bad purchase"

I am torn at times like this. Of course, a gift should bring joy, otherwise it quickly becomes ballast and a waste of money. But I think that as the recipient, you shouldn't just look at and judge the gift in isolation, but also honor the effort that a person has made.

Perhaps the sweater is not the one you would have chosen yourself, but why not try something new? The bracelet is too sparkly, but there's bound to be an occasion to wear it. Maybe you don't particularly like board games, but maybe this one does?

Dubai chocolate hypeQueuing from half past one in the morning - for a single bar

As the person receiving the gift, you should be a little more tolerant. Yes, you might not use what you receive every day, but that also happens when you treat yourself to something, keyword "bad purchase".

The jacket looks so great in the store, but in the end it stays in the wardrobe because it just never really fits. The shoes that are more uncomfortable than expected, the promising kitchen utensil that you stow further and further back in the cupboard until you completely forget it exists.

The magic of gift-giving is lost

So if you want exactly this one model airplane or this specific fountain pen, you either buy the things yourself or announce your wish. Then you get exactly what you want.

But this also means that the magic of gift-giving is somewhat lost. The excitement of unwrapping, the surprise and the joy of knowing that the other person has put some thought into it.

But it's precisely these thoughts that can totally stress me out and turn gift-giving into a chore. I'm nervous when I start looking for presents. Whether online or in the stores, I browse endlessly through the range and find: nothing.

"Escapades in Saas-Fee"The truth about the Christmas hit "Last Christmas"

I try to put myself in the person's shoes: "What would they like? What would she choose? What is really stylish?"

In the process, I completely lose my sense of what might fit and what might not. I'm helpless and get angry and would prefer not to give anything at all. But that would also lead to disappointment. It's difficult.

It's okay to give unkind gifts

But I also don't think you should like a gift at any price. If someone gave me a voucher for a meal at the Meat Temple, I would give it back. Because the person obviously hadn't given it a second thought.

Otherwise they would have remembered that I've been a vegetarian all my life. Carelessly and lovelessly made gifts can also simply be given away or sold at a flea market. After all, we want to stay sustainable. Even if the book has already been read or the pants fit a size smaller, you can talk about exchanging them.

ColumnWhy is it so hard to simply do nothing?

But otherwise: how about a little more tolerance when giving gifts this year and primarily being happy about the gesture?

And to all those who say every year: "Oh, I don't want anything!" - only say that if you really mean it. Nothing is more uncomfortable than granting this wish and then having the supposedly modest person sitting dabbed and unoccupied next to the Christmas tree while everyone tears open wrapping paper with two hands and red cheeks.

Or - and this would perhaps be the most sensible solution - next year we collectively agree not to give each other any presents at all.

More videos from the department