Late Night USA "You naughty little girl is about to get your a**** spanked"

Tucker Carlson campaigns for Donald Trump: he paints the 78-year-old as a daddy who sometimes spanks when he comes home angry in the evening. The "Daily Show" is amazed.

With less than two weeks to go until the election, Kamala Harris is trying to score points with voters using celebrities. First, she held a campaign event in Atlanta, Georgia, with singer Bruce Springsteen, actor Tyler Perry and former President Barack Obama.

And now a performance with a world star is on the program in Houston, Texas. "The last time Beyoncè was on stage with a presidential candidate was in 2016 with Hillary [Clinton]. So it's looking good," Michael Kosta teases on The Daily Show."It's bagged."

But Donald Trump has also had a "special guest" recently, the presenter continues - and he can be seen after 36 seconds: "Never in my life have I spoken at a campaign event," says the man on stage in Duluth, Georgia. It's former Fox News frontman Tucker Carlson.

"You're going to get a good spanking"

He has reported on such performances millions of times in more than 30 years and never dreamed of being on a stage like this himself: "I can't believe I'm here," says Carlson and lets out his typical laugh. "Hey, I don't want to be a hater," Kosta comments, "he's excited about his first political event."

Kosta follows up with, "It seems like a perfectly appropriate time to laugh like an old-time villain who tied a woman to the railroad tracks." The comedian imitates the crazy laughter that could have come from a witch.

And why is Carlson now trying something new? "There has to be a point when Dad comes home," explains the 55-year-old. "And you know what Dad says when he comes home? You've been a bad girl! You've been a bad little girl, and you're about to get a good spanking." ****

"Perfectly normal"

Carlson isn't done yet: "You're getting a**** spanking because you were a bad girl. And it has to be that way." "Maybe that's why no one ever invited you to speak at campaign events before," Kosta counters. "You see, America? These Trump people aren't weird. They just know that Trump is a big, strong daddy who's coming home to beat us all up. Perfectly normal."

Kost can't wait to hear what Carlson has to say about the economy: "Inflation is like a babysitter, and she's been ..." the presenter whispers lasciviously, "... naughty."

The problem with all this canvassing for votes is that it can sometimes become too much for voters, as the clip from minute 2:18 shows. CNN asks people in the swing states what they think of the constant barrage of advertising on TV, in their letterboxes and mailboxes? "They're everywhere" and "We're all sick of it" is what you hear.

An election that is exhausting

"The political barrage is taking a toll on our mental health," says Kosta, and a video from minute 3:56 onwards lets the numbers do the talking. According to a survey by the American Pschiatric Association, 73% of participants are feeling anxious about the vote. According to another survey, 31 percent feel anxious and 61 percent are worried about their mental health. The majority are exhausted by politics.

An expert has her say and she knows: "Irritable bowel syndrome is spreading. It happens with every election." "Irritable bowel syndrome?" wonders the 45-year-old presenter. "The election is so terrible that Americans are literally shitting themselves******." At least now you have a good excuse for using the loo at a friend's house. "Sorry about the smell - it's an election year."

Just how "crazy" the ballot is is also reflected in the fight over signs in front gardens, which the clip highlights from minute 4:55 onwards. In Wisconsin, for example, perpetrators not only stole a sign for the Democrats, but also left a letter saying that you will have blood on your hands if you vote for Harris.

"Maybe it's time for a hobby?"

Due to theft and vandalism, many of the signs are protected with wire, for example. In Lessburg, Virginia, a man has fitted his anti-Harris sign with trip wires and an alarm system. In Tempe, Arizona, a 60-year-old man was arrested for anti-Harris signs to which he attached white powder and razor blades.

"Are you people really going to kill someone over a political sign?" asks Kosta. "Calm down: The civil war doesn't start for a few weeks. Jesus Christ, people, maybe it's time for a hobby?" The man introduced in the clip from minute 6:30 is cleverer: The gentleman has covered his pro-Harris sign in gold glitter, which is notoriously difficult to remove.

Late Night USA - Understanding America

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50 states, 330 million people and even more opinions: How are you supposed to "understand America"? If you want to keep an overview without running aground, you need a lighthouse. The late-night stars offer one of the best navigational aids: They are the perfect pilots, relentlessly naming the shoals of the country and its people, and serve our author Philipp Dahm as a comic compass for the state of the American soul.

In the state of Missouri, a woman has even had her pro-Harris sign fitted with an Apple AirTag after it was stolen three times. The station leads her to a woman and her sons whose trunk is full of such signs. "Here, liberals, take them all," says the thief. To the objection that this is a crime, she replies: "It's not. Don't get upset."

"When we commit crimes, it's funny," Kosta summarizes. "I'm disappointed in these high school kids. They spend Saturday night running around stealing political signs? If they were my boys, I'd say, 'Go to your room and smoke weed like a normal teenager."