"Come as you please" Two sex types - do you recognize yourself?
Some people feel desire spontaneously, while others only get in the mood through touch. What type of sex person are you? It's worth knowing - for a more fulfilling sex life.
No time? blue News summarizes for you
- People differ in how they feel pleasure - spontaneously or only through stimulation.
- Women tend to be more responsive sex types, while men are more likely to experience spontaneous pleasure. However, this can change depending on the phase of life and partnership.
- Both variants - and everything in between - are normal. It's all about understanding how your own pleasure works.
- Conflicts can be avoided if you recognize the differences and talk about them, says couples' counselor Thomas Schärer.
Are you the type of person who is preparing dinner, peeling a potato - and suddenly feels like having sex? Or are you more the type of person who only feels like it after a little tenderness?
There are basically two different types of sex types, and it's worth finding out which type you are. For many, the word "lust" is associated with intense, spontaneous passion - as often portrayed in Hollywood movies, when the main characters end up in bed through sheer attraction, without much talking beforehand.
But lust doesn't always have to be explosive and come out of nowhere. For some, it is a slow process that can only develop through tenderness and closeness.
A more relaxed approach to lust
As 20 Minuten reports, there are many people who rarely or never feel this uncontrollable desire, even though they feel attracted to their partner. The question often arises: Is this normal?
The answer is: Yes, it's completely normal. The spectrum of sexual pleasure is very diverse. If you understand how your own pleasure works, you can deal with the topic in a much more relaxed way, avoid conflicts and get more out of your sex life.
A comparison of two types of sex
Research basically distinguishes between two types of sexual desire: the spontaneous and the responsive type. The spontaneous sex type is the one in which desire arises suddenly and unexpectedly - for example on the way to work or during everyday activities (such as cutting potatoes).
The responsive type, on the other hand, is only aroused by touch or other stimuli. Emily Nagoski, bestselling author of "Come as you like", explains that this type only gets in the mood when caresses such as cuddling, kissing or kneading, i.e. massages, come into play.
Science also shows that women are more often the responsive type, while men tend to be more spontaneous. However, this dynamic is not set in stone - it can change depending on the phase of life, partnership or personal experiences.
Communication is the be-all and end-all
Whether spontaneous or responsive - both types of desire and everything in between are perfectly normal. It's simply about finding out what works for you and your partner.
If you don't understand what type you are and what type the other person is, conflicts can arise. Sentences like "It's always me who initiates sex" are not uncommon.
Especially with responsive pleasure, it's crucial not to put yourself under pressure. Instead, according to sexologist Nagoski, you should take time to explore what makes you relaxed, curious and ultimately aroused.
Talk openly about your needs
Couples' counselor Thomas Schärer sums it up for 20 Minuten: "The basic requirements for a happy relationship are transparency, honesty and communication."
Talking openly about your needs allows your partner to respond to them and find a way forward together.
