The bravest woman in the world Gisèle Pelicot: "This is not courage, but determination"
Gisèle Pelicot, herself a victim of severe violence, makes her story public and calls for a social reassessment of shame and guilt - a courageous step with global resonance.
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- As a victim of abuse,Gisèle Pelicot makes her case public and breaks the taboo of shame.
- Shame as a culturally shaped emotion has historically often been used to shame victims and exonerate perpetrators, experts say.
- Pelicot's openness brings admiration, but also attacks and shows that public proceedings are not suitable for all victims.
She is celebrated in the courtroom and has become an icon outside it: Gisèle Pelicot is at the center of a trial that not only deals with one of the darkest series of sex crimes in recent history, but has also triggered a social debate about shame and guilt.
Pelicot has decided not only to tell her story, but to make it public - a courageous step that has sparked solidarity around the world, but has also highlighted limits and risks. Some call her the bravest woman in 2024.
Gisèle Pelicot, now 72 years old, was systematically drugged, abused and handed over to strange men by her husband Dominique Pelicot over a period of ten years.
The acts were filmed by her husband and the videos were used as evidence in court. Now her husband and 50 other perpetrators are on trial in Avignon, France. The verdict is due to be announced at the end of December.
Gisèle Pelicot: "Shame must change sides"
From the outset, Gisèle Pelicot made it clear that she is not just conducting the trial for herself. "Shame has to change sides," she said.
She decided not to remain anonymous and to make the proceedings public, even if this meant making even the most degrading details of her abuse public. For her, it was a step towards regaining control and breaking through the social taboo of shame.
Shame, says theologian Regine Munz to the "Aargauer Zeitung", is one of the strongest human emotions. It often leads to isolation, self-harm or aggression.
But shame is also a learned and culturally shaped feeling. Social norms determine what is shameful - and can be changed. This is precisely where Gisèle Pelicot comes in: she wants to transfer the shame from the victims to the perpetrators.
Historian Elisabeth Joris emphasizes in the "Aargauer Zeitung" how deeply rooted the shaming of women in abuse cases is. For centuries, victims have been blamed in order to exonerate perpetrators. Until 1992, for example, marital rape was not even considered a criminal offense in France or Switzerland.
Breaking taboos and breaking boundaries
Pelicot takes a radical approach: she not only talks about abuse, but also about marriage and the marital bedroom - an area that is traditionally considered too private for the public. Joris praises Pelicot's openness as revolutionary: "She breaks through the shame about the conditions in the marriage bed."
But courage comes at a price. Pelicot was even attacked in the courtroom. The defense tried to discredit her because of her possession of sex toys. One lawyer even accused her of exhibitionism, which she angrily rejected: "Shame on you for accusing me of such things!"
Admiration for Pelicot also harbors risks. Her strength and openness could become an expectation for other victims, warns victim support advisor Agota Lavoyer in the "Aargauer Zeitung". "For many, public proceedings are simply not feasible."
At the same time, support is often unevenly distributed: A sexually stigmatized woman, such as a sex worker, would probably not receive the kind of globally celebrated solidarity experienced by Pelicot.
The other side of shame: men and violence
When shame changes sides, what does that mean for the perpetrators? Markus Theunert, sociologist and head of männer.ch, explains to the "Aargauer zeitung" that men do feel shame - but often repress it.
This repressed shame often manifests itself in violence. "Shame has a lot to do with power. Those who shame others can ward off their own shame."
Theunert calls for a rethink in parenting: "Requirements of masculinity such as 'A man doesn't cry' or 'A man solves problems alone' are unattainable and drive men into violence."
These toxic expectations create a deep shame in men that they are unable to process - often with devastating consequences.
Pelicot is certain: "There are always women who come to me and say they admire my courage. I then tell them that it's not courage, but determination. And the will to bring about social change."
