"Easier to raise" Parents tend to favor girls according to study
A meta-study shows that, contrary to their claims, parents actually prefer daughters and easy-to-care-for children. This has consequences.
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- A comprehensive meta-study with 20,000 participants from North America and Western Europe shows that, contrary to their claims, parents actually have favorite children.
- The research shows that mothers and fathers particularly prefer daughters and conscientious and sociable children.
- This parental inequality can have long-term effects on children's development and self-esteem.
Parents don't have favorite children. At least that's what they say when you ask them. But a recent study in the specialist journal "Psychological Bulletin" now shows the opposite.
For the study, the research team looked at 30 research papers and 14 databases on the subject of parental inequality. In total, almost 20,000 participants took part in this meta-study. Two thirds of them came from the USA, the rest from Western Europe and Canada. Character traits, sibling order and gender were among the factors taken into account.
Girls and low-maintenance children have an advantage
The result: mothers and fathers prefer daughters to sons. Particularly conscientious, sociable and responsible children are also very popular.
Researchers were already aware of the latter. This is because an agreeable child generally means less effort for parents. And communication with girls is also less stressful - at least statistically speaking. This could be one reason for the preference.
Another possible reason: at the age of three, girls are said to have around twice as much vocabulary as boys. Both of these points can help to ease the burden on parents' everyday lives.
Long-term effects of parental preference
"Researchers have known for decades that unequal treatment of siblings by parents can have long-term effects," explains study leader Alexander Jensen from Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah.
According to Jensen, favored children tend to be more mentally stable and more successful in their careers. Their relationships last longer and behavioral problems occur less frequently. However, more is expected of them.
Children who feel severely disadvantaged can struggle with lower self-esteem throughout their lives and are more prone to depression, anxiety and behavioral problems. It can also damage their relationship with their parents.
Unconscious favoritism and communication as the key
"Parents often don't even realize that they are favoring a child," psychology professor Laurie Kramer explains to the BBC. This is also known as parental differential and, according to a study in California, occurs in 65 percent of families. "The preferred child is often easier to raise or the parents can identify better with the child - but it doesn't mean that they love the child more."
Above all, it is important to communicate transparently. "Parents should explain their behavior and make sure that all children feel loved and supported," says study leader Jensen. For example, if one child is allowed to stay awake longer, it should be explained to the other child that they are only allowed to do so because they are older. In this way, misunderstandings and insults can be avoided.