Bestselling author Martin Suter "The death of my wife left me speechless"

Martin Suter and Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre talk about flowers, piercings, robotic lawnmowers and love in their new book. And they give tips on how to offer condolences after a death.

"They always say: life goes on. But that's not true," said Martin Suter on the TV show "Gesichter & Geschichten" on September 23, 2023.

It was the bestselling author's first public appearance since the death of his wife Margrith Nay Suter. She died on May 9, 2023 at the age of 72.

The Suters were a couple for 48 years. Margrith Nay Suter was the author's great love and the first reader of his books and columns.

Hazel Brugger interviews Angela Merkel"You don't seem like such a nerd to me now"

Martin Suter was once asked how a relationship could work for so long and he replied, in the style of his highly distilled form: "It helps if you love each other."

Flowers, camping and robotic lawnmowers

Martin Suter said about the beginning and end of his marriage in November 2023 in "NZZ Magazin am Sonntag":

"I remember the registrar saying somewhat furtively at the phrase 'Till death do you part' that she just had to say it. But I thought it was the right thing to say. And now it's happened. Unfortunately too soon."

Now 76-year-old Martin Suter is talking, no, writing about his wife's death once again. The book "Kein Grund, gleich so rumzuschreien" is being published today, Wednesday.

It is the second volume of conversations that the Swiss bestselling author has produced together with Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre. The 49-year-old is often described as the pop star of contemporary German literature. This time, the unlikely duo talk about flowers, camping, intoxicants, lawn mowing robots and love, among other things.

There is a powerful moment in the new volume of conversations when the two men talk about the phrase "heartfelt condolences" and Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre asks Martin Suter:

"How did you feel this general trepidation around you in the weeks and months after Margrith's death?"

"Of course you're speechless," replies Suter. "I received many such messages of condolence, and some people resorted to these formulas. But there were also many people who did something that really touched me: they wrote down their memories of Margrith and sent them to me."

"Sympathy prose shrouded in grief"

In the book, Martin Suter says that he can only recommend that anyone who ever has to send written condolences should do so. "Holding on to memories" is the best thing to do in such a situation. "I know that now as a consumer of this form of literature."

Meanwhile Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre adds: "Yes, it's more concrete, it also makes more sense than this protocol-stuttering stumbling in the fog: 'It's not even possible to understand yet'."

And he continues: "That's meant kindly, but it's sympathy prose shrouded in grief, which means nothing more than: I don't have the words, so I've borrowed these from the standard rhetorical dances."

Ana Suter: "You're getting a pink, Papi"

Margrith Nay Suter is a recurring theme in the book by Martin Suter and Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre. It is the moments in the book that make it particularly worth reading.

At times, however, the two bestselling authors simply talk away in the 320-page book.

Yes, not all the punchlines are good - just like in life. Fans of the duo will remember that it was no different in their first joint work "Alle sind so ernst geworden", which was published in 2020.

The new book of conversations is particularly enjoyable when Ana, Martin Suter's daughter, joins in. She does so on the subject of piercings. "Can you lend us an earring, please? Martin has a pierced ear, did you know that?" asks Stuckrad-Barre.

As a result, Suter's ear is examined to see "whether it's still in working order, i.e. whether it's operable".

Ana: "You're getting a rose, daddy."

Stuckrad-Barre: "A rose, very good. Could you put it through there, Ana? You're much more practiced at this."

Suter: "Will it go through?"

Ana: "Quite easily, actually. Like this."

Stuckrad-Barre: "That looks incredibly good. I have to take a photo of you really quickly, Martin, an ear shot. Otherwise I won't believe myself later."

"Kein Grund, gleich so rumzuschreien", Martin Suter and Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre, 320 pages, Diogenes Verlag, 35 francs.

More videos from this section